The Job Jar

We are deep in the throes of summer vacation around here, and with the onset of these "lazy days" most parents find their children behaving badly in one way or another.  Sometimes, it's simple boredom that turns your normally sweet girl into a whiny mess.  Others, it's sibling bickering that has you tearing at your hair, or maybe even being asked for the 20th time in 10 minutes if we can go to so-and-so's house to play.  In any case, we all need new strategies for dealing with these behavioral back-hands.

As a mom, I've read a lot of books and articles about parenting techniques and disciplinary strategies.  Some have worked for us, and some have not.  As an early childhood educator, I have read even more books and articles about child development, classroom management, and disciplinary strategies, and some have worked for me, and some haven't.  But about a month ago, I stumbled upon an idea for a jar, sort of like a "swear jar" only instead of putting money in it for swearing, we would take a job out of it every time someone said "I'm bored" during the summer vacation.

I was doing the dishes and found a spaghetti sauce jar (we buy the one that comes in mason jars) and cleaned it out.  I scrubbed the label off, and put a home-made label on, and filled it with simple chores that everyone in the house could do.  I threw in a couple of fun things just to keep things interesting.  I had heard of another mom using the word "party" to describe chores - laundry party, garbage party, etc.  So I put some of that in the list.  I added "Hug Party - hug everyone in the house at this moment" and a few others like it.  I also added about a dozen each of "pick up 10 pieces of trash and throw them away," "clean the garage for 5 minutes," and even a couple of "sit in time out in the front hall for 10 minutes" among the other simple chores like wiping the bathroom counter, putting away 1 basket of folded laundry, gathering toys from shared areas of the house and putting them away.

I posted a photo of the jar on Facebook today and got a lot of responses, so I thought I would describe it more in-depth here.  The bowl next to the jar holds the completed jobs.  The purpose of the jar has also evolved since the kids returned from their trip to Grandma's house and Disneyland for two weeks - now it's not just "I'm BORED" that gets you a job - it's whining, or asking for something repeatedly after being told NO (aka badgering), or arguing with your brother, or making annoying sounds after being asked to stop.

We've been using it this way for three days now, and I can tell you - the amount of yelling I've been doing has decreased considerably, and the general attitude has gotten much better.  The kids are told to get a job when they act up.  If they complain about getting a job, they get a second job.  Sophie got up to 6 jobs yesterday in one tantrum before she caught on.  Luckily, she drew the "Hug Party" tag and it made her laugh and snap out of it, or we might have emptied the whole jar ;)  Today, she got up to 3 because she lied about something twice in a row, but she was able to stop a tantrum mid-wail in the car in order to avoid more jobs.

So to all you flustered moms out there, I say that it's time to put those kids to work!  Tell them to GET A JOB! :D


Here are some sample jobs.  I printed them on one sheet of paper in a 3-column document in word. I broke them into small chunks that take less than 5 minutes for most of them.

Clean up the garage for 5 minutes
Pick up 10 pieces of trash
Empty the *ROOM NAME* trash
Clean the Kitchen table and wash it
Clean the coffee table and wash it
Straighten the kids’ bookshelf
Hanger Party: *CLOSET NAME*
(hanger party means gather all empty hangers)
Laundry Party: gather dirty clothes and put in your hamper
Clean the kids’ toilet
Clean the kids’ bathtub
Clean the kids counter and sink
Dust for 5 minutes